Thursday, 4-11-96
2:35 PM London
8:35 AM E-Town
Well, I took my last final! (pretty painless – though I sure studied long enough for it…) I really did learn a lot from that architecture class! I sold my books back & am close to £35 richer for it! I wish I could keep the books for souvenirs & all, but I don’t have room & can use the extra money!
After the exam I checked e-mail. While in there I had to say goodbye to Paul. I know I’ll see him again when we get home cuz we live so close. He was leaving about now for Leeds & then won’t be back until after Ruth & I head out on Sat.
I got e-mails from Mom, Meg, Kelly, Ruth, Deb, Nina A., Elena, & Brad Cook! Kelly said she is gonna try to meet me at the airport w/ M & D on the 6th! That’d be so cool!
I am on the tube running errands, so I will write in here in increments probably today…
More later!
CHEERS! 😊
2:50 PM London
8:50 AM E-Town
Back on the tube… The message from Nina was nice & newsy. Elena was concerning Ruth & my coming to Madrid (we can’t stay w/ her cuz she lives with a family, but she will try to help us find somewhere…). Ruth & Deb’s were both about room picks. It looks like I may end up living in a quad w/ Sue, Annie, & Suzie. I suppose that’d be fun & Suzie & I could help each other w/ the transition!
Brad’s was interesting. He said he had no excuse for not writing me until now… I would agree w/ that. He also said he may study abroad again next spring in Austria or Germany. Nice to know he is still alive & kicking.
Well, mission accomplished! I just road all the way to Tower Hill Tube Station to get 2 patches of: Wales & England from a souvenir shop I’d seen ‘em in back when I’d been at the Tower of London a few weeks ago. Now I have patches from all the countries I have been to so far outside of the USA: Wales, Ireland, Scotland, & (of course) England! Yea! Eventually I will sew them on my backpack…
Since I have a bit o’ time on my hands as I sit here waiting for the Circle Line to take me back to Notting Hill Gate & then the ride as well… I will finish about this weekend at Ron’s & who knows, I might even get to have a go at finishing my last installment about Scotland, before I forget all the details & fun we had!
Well, I loved Ron’s family! They were so welcoming & great! They are bunch of pack-rats though, it was so hilarious! Their little bungalow is full of stuff, mostly junk to an outsider but it all has meaning to them! They frequent garage-like sales weekly and accumulate the most random things! Ron’s mom is especially into collecting things… She collects: ceramic houses, thimbles, China w/ blue designs, owls, and a million other things! They found out I use to collect elephants and before I left gave me one they’d picked out for me at a gift shop on Monday! How sweet is that? Ron’s sister Ginny, at 16, was nice & a typical British teenager! (She wore those plaid pants that are real “in” here now & had posters on her wall of “Take That” & “Boyzone!”)
Friday night when I arrived we had dinner at their house, Ron, Molly (his mum), and Art (his dad). We had lamb and potatoes and it was yummy! (No BSE!) The conversation was fun and we had wine w/ dinner!
After dinner Ron took me to a pub to meet one of his best friends (since childhood) and the friend’s fiancé. They are getting married in 2 wks. and Ron is part of the wedding party (an usher). The stag/bachelor party for Nick (his friend) is tomorrow night! Nick was all excited that I was wearing a baseball hat when I got there, cuz I guess I fit his American stereotype or something?! I was only wearing it cuz it had taken me so damn long to pack everything, that day, before I left, and get it all in that suitcase, that I didn’t have time to shower!
There is some stuff I am gonna add in here, that I didn’t type in my e-mail about the weekend to M & D, Meg, & Kelly… it has to do w/ Ron and my friendship rising to a new level throughout this weekend.
Quick Note from Present Day Kathy: I won’t actually share details here, but am noting that weekend was when Ron and my relationship started to be more than friends.*
Saturday Ron and I went down to Portsmouth and to Southsea. It was on the coast & really beautiful. It was sorta like a boardwalk w/ a carnival and lots of food vendors! We walked along the coast, on an old castle wall, and out to the dock to look at some old and famous ships! Speaking of which… NEWSFLASH: the RMS Titanic sailed from SOUTHAMPTON!!! I got to see the general area where it sailed from in Ron’s hometown and the big memorial in the center of his town for those who perished when it sank! Most of the engineers on the ship died in the sinking and most of them were from Southampton! I never knew or at least didn’t remember/make the connection that it sailed from there!!! How cool is that?!
Well, almost back to Notting Hill Gate! So I’ll finish later…
CHEERS! 😊
8:15 PM London
2:15 PM E-Town
Picking up where I left off…
Saturday night after another fun and amusing dinner (turkey & salad & more wine) with his parents and also his sister and one of her friends, Ron and I went to an Easter Vigil Mass in the next town over called Bitterne, where his dad grew up.
His family is Christian (Church of England) but not religious… to quote his mom: “We go on the important days: weddings, funerals, and Christmas.” But Ron knew it was important to me to go & so he helped my find a Catholic Church & sat through the 2 ½ hour candlelight vigil w/ me! He is so thoughtful like that.
His family also gave me a huge Cadbury Chocolate Easter Egg (the “Roses” kind) for Easter! That is sorta the tradition here, instead of Easter baskets… The Cadbury factory is in Birmingham, England so they are huge here & monopolize the chocolate market here!
On Sunday, Ron & I walked around Southampton and he showed me where he went to college and the sites of the town! I got a “happy meal” from McDonald’s since Lent was over! 🙂 We also went to the cemetery where most of his relatives are buried. All of his family is from Southampton or the surrounding communities. I had thought it’d be cool to see where they were buried, especially considering my fascination w/ cemeteries. Later Sunday afternoon I typed my paper and his family gave me some hints about it while I was typing. Ron sat there the whole time I typed and gave me comments which were very helpful! Did I mention what a sweetie he is?
By the time I had finished my paper his extended family had arrived! His father’s sister and husband; his great uncle and great aunt; and his dad’s second cousin and husband! Well, they were some real crazy characters and big big talkers! It was a fabulous and very entertaining evening! We had a huge and yummy buffet dinner which they simply referred to as TEA!!! 😊
After dinner we played “Jenga” for a few hrs. and then a card game called “Chase the Ace!” It was so much fun and I sorta fantasized that I was married to Ron and was part of the family! They kinda treated me that way too! They stayed from 5:30 PM till a little after midnight and we were all exhausted by the time they finally left, but such fun!
After that we hung out for awhile with Ron’s M & D (Ginny had gone to bed earlier) and helped clean up some from the party.
Well, I am almost back to Notting Hill Gate! I am on my way back from visiting Jillian at her flat at Goldhurst Terrace. It is weird that after all the time we spent together this semester I just now got to see where she lives/lived!
More later…
CHEERS! 🙂
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Note from Present Day Kathy: This was a very bittersweet series of entries to revisit, as learning of my old friend/(not his real name) Ron’s death in July 2018 (four years after he died from brain cancer in 2014) inspired me to revisit, reflect on and share my London Semester Journal entries. The weekend that I began to describe in this entry, which I spent in Southampton celebrating Easter with Ron and his family, was a highlight of my time studying/living abroad. I have been working on/tinkering with this present day part of my blog post for several days, as there is a lot here.
Also, since I started sharing my journal entries eight years ago (in September 2018), not that long after the original Serial podcast was released (actually I double checked to find that it was released in October 2014 — almost four years later), I am reminding myself and anyone who doesn’t get the reference, that “(not their real name) alias” is how Sarah Koenig would always refer to the people she gave aliases too on the pod.
One of the many themes I see from 51, about 21 year old Kathy, is how frugally I was living and/or trying to live. I get why I chose to sell my books back at the end of the semester (as I often also did at the University of Illinois, though not always and still have some to this day). Back then £35, was about $53 (based on a $1.51 exchange rate) and roughly my budget for one entire day of travel (including lodging, food and activities) with (not her real name) Ruth. We used a guidebook called Frommer’s Frugal Traveler’s Guide: Europe From $50 a Day and tried to stick with that budget as much as possible. I know I’ll get to that more when I reach my entries about our Eurorail travels/adventures and I recall it was one of the topics we had some friction about — as at times our priorities differed for how we wanted to spend that $50 some days and also wanted to stay together for the most part. I looked it up and £35 in April 1996 would be about £78 (a 2.2x increase) or $105 today. The exchange rate now is closer to $1.35. As I understand that, it indicates the Pound has weakened against the Dollar over the past three decades. In talking about it with my accountant (a.k.a. husband Bob), he suggested that Brexit had an impact on that since it happened in 2020.
I do recall when making decisions about buying things while living in London and traveling around the UK during my semester abroad, doing the math in my head based on the exchange rate, to help me know what I was “really spending.” If I recall correctly, in spite of my efforts to be frugal, I ultimately returned home (in early May 1996) $8,000 in debt to my parents. Though I don’t think I started paying them back until after I finished grad school (in May 1999) and started my first full time job in the “real world” with the Skokie Park District. So, it is possible that $8,000 also included some money that I believe I borrowed during grad school. I am pretty sure I started to work on reimbursing them while living at home from May 1999 – September 2000, when Bob and I married. I may have notes or more information about this somewhere and can always update this if/when I come across that. I am grateful that that my parents could afford to lend me the money and that they didn’t just give it to me (though at the time I probably wished for that). It did teach me a lot about money management, though not as much as it might have if they weren’t in a position to lend me that much or any.
Saying goodbye to (not his real name) Paul, is another reminder that for the most part I have not kept in touch with the close friendships I made during my semester abroad. I get that it is difficult to maintain relationships with lots of people from different ages and stages of our lives and it is still bittersweet to recall how much various people, including Paul, meant to me when I was in my early 20s. We did keep in touch initially, as our hometowns were not far a part. However, especially since email was in its infancy and social media did not exist, our connection didn’t take long to fade. Though I have been in and out of touch with a few of my friends from my London Semester Abroad via social media over the last 20-ish years, Paul is not one of them.
As for the topic of “room picks,” that was the way my sorority sisters and I, who were “living in house,” got to “choose” where we would live from semester to semester. It was based on seniority and since I was going into my senior year, joined Alpha Phi as a freshman, and not a lot of seniors “lived in,” I was pretty high up on the list. One of the reasons I chose to live in senior year was to help me reintegrate after being abroad. Originally, (not her real name) Sue and I had planned to live together in a double during my senior and her junior year. However, something shifted while I was gone (I don’t recall what or if I even knew at the time) and Sue, along with (not her real name) Annie, suggested the quad with (not her real name) Suzie and me. Since Suzie and I were both studying abroad during spring semester of our junior year, living together after that did sound like nice idea. Also, thinking about this from present day, it is interesting to note that Sue (didn’t realize I made Suzie’s and Sue’s aliases so similar) would introduce me to Bob less than five months after I wrote this journal entry. Sue was dating one of Bob’s roommates (who she went on to marry as well), which was certainly a significant factor in Bob and I meeting, as well as the life we lead today. Also, Suzie had a role introducing Sue and her husband, as well as knew Bob before I did/was friends with him. So many connections and synchronicities there!
(Not his real name) Brad was an old boyfriend who I met at the University of Illinois during our freshman year (we lived in the same dorm). We ran into each other and started dating during the summer of 1994 and remained friends after we broke up that fall. Somewhat related, Gail and I (with Bob and Skylar listening in sometimes too, especially when we are driving places as a family) have still been working our way through my mom’s letters to her mother, which cover a different 30 year range (roughly 1965 – 1996), and recently we made it to 1994. In those, Mom had mentioned my relationship with Brad, which was interesting to read about from her perspective. That said, I am curious about why some old flames have stayed with me more than others over the years. Brad is not someone I ever recall wondering much about or wishing things had played out differently. I did learn things from the time we were together, which I appreciate, and I also find it fascinating what it is about some people and connections that I continue to think about now and then, including Ron. It may have something to do with the relationships I had where there was more and/or less closure. Brad and I definitely had that on our relationship and then remained friends for awhile after we broke up — which mostly worked for us.
It was fun to recall my quest to acquire patches for my backpack from all the countries I had visited in Europe up to that point. I did pick up additional patches in France, Spain and Italy during (not here real name) Ruth and my travels. I never did sew them onto the big bluepack (or the smaller one that zipped off of it) that I used that semester and many times since. However, several years ago I finally sewed them on to a newer one that I have used some for hiking and travel. Since 1996, I also got to add patches for traveling to Mexico (in 2015 and 2018) and Poland (in 2019). Though I did not buy them in those countries, I ordered them online after that fact.
It was sweet to recall how much I adored Ron’s family and amusing how candid I was about all the stuff they had in their home. I feel like I could say those things knowing that I was (and continue to be) similar to some degree. I’m sure I didn’t intend to be disrespectful by calling them “packrats,” as I identified that way myself back then. Bob would likely say that I am still one today. Also, I appreciate that I understood the things they were buying and holding onto held meaning for them. Similarly, as a very sentimental/nostalgic person, I struggle to get rid of things in our home.
It was also interesting that I wrote I “used to collect elephants.” As, I think Ron’s parents buying and giving me one that weekend rekindled my doing so again. I know I ended up buying a small set of glass blown elephants in Venice, Italy a few weeks later. That was the last city that Ruth and I traveled to before I headed back to Southampton, followed by flying home on May 6th. After I found out about Ron’s death in 2018 and reread my journal entries, it sparked another resurgence of my elephant collecting which has continued on since.
I am glad that I wrote down so many details about my meals with the (not their real last name) Weasley family and who all I got to meet that weekend, as 30 years later there is so little that I can actually picture in my own memory. I don’t recall meeting Ron’s friend (not his real name) Nick and his fiance or even being at the pub that night. Interestingly, Ron’s and his sister (not her real name) Ginny’s brother (not his real name) Charlie and I were never in Southampton at the same time in 1996. I believe he was away at school/university and I actually slept in his bedroom both times that I visited that year. That said, I finally got to meet him, along with his spouse and their children, when I was in London for work in September 2024 and took a day trip to Southampton. It was really nice to connect with Charlie in person after all of those years, as well as to pay my respects.
I looked up what “(no BSE!)” might be referring to, as for the life of me, I could not recall what I meant by that. As soon as I saw my internet search result = Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE), or “mad cow disease,” I remembered that was something people worried about back then. Hence, my comment — since the Weasley family served lamb the first night.
Titanic! As I have previously shared about, rather extensively here on my blog, I have been intrigued and fascinated by the story of the Titanic, learning about the passengers and their fate for as long as I can remember. In eighth grade, one of my friends and I did a big research project about the Titanic. Working on our “exploration” project about the Titanic is still one of my favorite memories of learning and school during my teenage years. 84 years ago the week I wrote this entry and 114 years ago today, Titanic sank after hitting an iceberg the night before. Somehow, I didn’t put this all together until I arrived in Southampton 30 years ago and Ron started showing me around. I’ve been determined to finish and post this entry on this April 15, 2026 in honor and memory of Titanic.
During our family’s epic trip to England last summer (2025), I took them to many places I’d been before including some of those where Ron and Ginny had brought me. One of those was the Titanic Engineers’ Memorial (pictured below).
Understandably, my memories from 30 years ago are fuzzy and I didn’t remember how Ron and I came upon the Titanic Engineers’ Memorial in 1996. So, I took the photos below in part to remind myself for the future that it is actually right off a main street, as opposed to in the middle of park (which it is on the edge of/adjacent to).
The next photo shows it from a greater distance and also captures a banner on a street light advertising the school of higher education where Ron attended and graduated from in 1995. They have since changed the name and I still appreciate remembering that part of why Ron was walking me around this particular area of his hometown was to show me the campus where he studied.
In 1996, I couldn’t believe that was the main and only major memorial to the tragedy in Southampton. However, by the time I returned over 23 years later (in November 2019) they had opened the Sea City Museum (on April 10, 2012 — to mark the 100th anniversary of when Titanic sailed from Southampton) including a major exhibit called Southampton’s Titanic Story.
Ginny took me there in November 2019 and I’d been looking forward to bringing Bob, Skylar and Gail ever since. We visited there on our second day in Southampton last July, prior to walking around the city and locating the Engineer’s Memorial. I continue to be moved and heartbroken by how hard the tragedy hit the town/port from which Titanic sailed, a place that has become special to me.
Here are 20 more of my favorite photos from the Sea City Museum’s exhibit, which captures some of what makes it so meaningful. I could’ve done a separate post just about Titanic’s connection to Southampton and my related experiences there over the years. However, I am choosing to lean into the long form of this entry.
It begins with a scale model of Titanic made with Legos.
This photo is especially meaningful for me to see, as Ron (in 1996) and Ginny (in 2025) each brought me to the area where Titanic sailed from and I appreciate being able to see what it actually looked like in April 1912.
Gail checking out the Lego model of the Titanic, as we watched a video about it.
I have mixed feelings about things like this. In November 2019, I got to tag along on one of Bob’s work trips to Warsaw, Poland, before I met up with Ginny in London and then traveled back to Southampton (for the first time since May 1996). While walking around in Warsaw, I came across another model of Titanic, in a jewelry store/gift shop window, that had been made out of amber. I was equally in awe and perplexed by seeing it.
I appreciate the bittersweet beauty of this painting of Titanic.
I also empathize with George Fraser’s choice not to finish it.
This room in the exhibit is especially moving.
As this point in my life, working as a Career Advisor with students studying journalism, media and integrated marketing communications at Northwestern’s Medill School (since September 2023), this part of of the exhibit hit me even more when I got to see it again in July 2025.
This quote really captures the scope and impact of Titanic’s tragic fate on Southampton
So. Many. Red. Dots.
This room is both fascinating and heartbreaking.
I appreciated learning more about the history of the Engineer’s Memorial in this part of the exhibit.
The memorial has held up pretty well since it was built and installed 112 years ago.
This was so interesting to see after having been there twice (once in 1996 and once in 2025).
I loved coming across this forget-me-not pin, as those flowers are meaningful to me for several reasons. It is one of my Alpha Phi sorority’s flowers. Also, after our baby Molly was born and died on April 17, 2008, some friends that I met via online support groups, while trying to conceive, bought and sent me a beautiful forget-me-not necklace. The pendant on that one is made out of jewels. After my dad died on July 1, 2021, some of my A-Phi sorority sisters bought and sent me another beautiful forget-me-not necklace. The pendant on that one has an actual forget-me-not flower pressed inside glass.
This caption introduces a wall of photos, which includes as many of the crew members as they were able to acquire. It also shows who died and who survived.
I don’t believe we have to find a silver lining in every cloud and this was more like a horrendous storm in that analogy. That said, I recognize there is meaning that can be found through thinking about the many lessons learned from Titanic’s sinking.
This next photo is the view one encounters after leaving the exhibit.
Later that day, on July 3, 2025, Bob, Skylar, Gail and I had an incredible experience with Ginny, who works at the docks in Southampton. Ginny didn’t share that it might be a possibility until the last minute, as she didn’t want to get our hopes up. However, once Ginny was able to arrange/confirm it, she invited the four of us to visit her at work and even took us on tour of where Titanic sailed from!
One of her colleagues does a spiel, about Titanic’s sailing from the dock there, at times for clients when they visit and he did that for us (pictured above). It was fascinating and bittersweet to be standing there where so many people stood over 100 years ago before Titanic set sail from Southampton. To be clear, the author of the article I linked to is not Ginny’s colleague. However, I wanted to highlight that the photo in his piece (that was taken in April 1912) was taken from a very similar perspective as the photo below of Bob, Skylar, Gail, me and Ginny on the dock near one of the bollards that Titanic was moored to. 1989/14 year old/8th grade Kathy would have been blown away by that experience! 2025/50 year old/adult Kathy certainly was!
Moving on from Titanic, but, unfortunately not from tragedies and the grief the accompanies them. It gave me chills when I first revisited this entry in the summer of 2018, after learning of Ron’s death — to know that Ron had taken me to one of the three places where some of his ashes are now. Julie took me there again in November 2019, as well as to the park where more of his ashes are. I took my family to both places in July 2025. The third place that was meaningful to Ron and his family, where the rest of his ashes reside, is Cox Tor in Dartmoor National Park. I hope to go there someday. If/when I get back to England, visiting Dartmoor and hiking Cox Tor is high on my list.
Ron really was a sweetheart and remembering he sat with me for 2 1/2 hours during an Easter Vigil mass and again for a long while the next day while I worked on/he helped me with my history paper exemplifies that. Ron was also an awesome tour guide, when I think about all the interesting places he took me to see. This isn’t my last London Semester Journal entry about my first visit to/weekend in Southampton, let alone my last about time that I spent with Ron while I was across the pond in 1996. So, I am not going to spend more time reflecting in this post about the evolution of our relationship back then. Also, I feel compelled to note that Bob continues to be supportive and understanding about my complicated feelings related to Ron then and now. I don’t know how I would be if the tables were turned and am grateful that Bob recognizes that many things can be true at the same time, which doesn’t take away from our relationship of almost 30 years (in September) and marriage of over 25.
That said, I appreciate this opportunity to remember how much Ron and I enjoyed spending time together. We were friends for almost a year before we got together and that was a strong foundation to start from. However, the big pond in between our home countries, along with technology being nowhere near where it is today, made keeping in touch a lot more difficult after I returned home that May. As Ron, Charlie and Ginny’s dad/(not his real name) Art said, when we talked briefly about Ron and my relationship not working out, during my first visit back in November 2019, “it’s a long way to swim.”
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Reminder: Unless I’ve been given permission to use people’s actual names, in most cases I’ve removed or replaced the names of the real people who were part of my journey/experience there, in effort to protect and respect their identities/privacy in my London Semester Journal entries. I will also not share details that I think and feel are too personal for anyone I interacted with, my loved ones, and me.
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Here’s the back story of My London Semester Journals from 1996, including what prompted me to revisit and decide to share them here in 2018. And here’s a list a list of the entries, which I will update as I share them.
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